Music >> John Mayer: Battle Studies

I'm a music junkie.. gotta love music, the expression of the soul..
Music.. they're always so relatable and they convey your feelings sometimes just listening to them is comforting or downright evoking some feelings/thoughts/memories.

Always in need and seeking new songs..

And..Recently (!) I have came across John Mayer's Battle Studies Album..
It's gold I tell you. He's so talented. You gotta love the lyrics.. they may be especially relatable to some..

I especially like *
Perfectly Lonely
*Edge of Desire
*Half of My Heart
Friends Lovers or Nothing
All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

I love the quote "the simple little kind of free" from the song Perfectly Lonely =)
It's just so fitting (though not really too)


Sigh.. I always had..
dreams of long lasting freedom, that I'm happy with the simplest things.. one without a care in the world..

I long for freedom.. I love freedom..
but.. freedom don't really know me..
I can't let myself free.

A simple kind of free..

Looking back, I feel stupid.
I realised I didn't change much and I haven't truly grown up as I thought I had/hoped for..
and I guess I never will in its full extent.

but it is good, I'm happy..
because you keep learning new things everyday.
isn't that's what life is all about?

and although life may get you down,
people may disappoint you,
you may cry your hearts out,
you win some, you may lose some..
what matters is not the winning or losing..

the most important thing is to have tried your best and not to let yourself down..
to have.. learn from things..

and to the world I may look like a fool,
but I gave my all, my heart, the best I know how..
this is the path I chose.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind recently and it was such a fab movie, I gotta recommend it! gotta love the bittersweet love stories like Love Me If You Dare, etc etc etc. besides horrors, bittersweet romance, unconventional, artistic movies would appeal to me. for the former, I guess I like it because it's not those so unrealistic like some romance stories. it's what relationships are like- bittersweet.

as described from Wikipeida, the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a 2004 American drama by French director Michel Gondry. The film uses elements of science fiction and neosurrealism to explore the nature of memory and romantic love. It opened in North America on March 19, 2004 and grossed over US$70 million worldwide.

Gondry worked on the story with Charlie Kaufman and Pierre Bismuth, a French performance artist. Together, they won an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay in 2005. The film stars Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet and features Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Wilkinson, Elijah Wood, Jane Adams, and David Cross.

Blessed are the forgetful
for they forget the better
even if they're blunders

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;".

The 2 quote mentioned above is mentioned in the movie and the latter is where the brilliant title is taken from as well, from part of the poem Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope. If you break down the title, sunshine means happiness, cheerfulness and spotless mind means a mind that is clean, undefiled, free from spot or stain.
This a story of a tragic love affair, where forgetfulness became the heroine's only comfort. Where eternal happiness seems possible only from a spotless, clean, undefiled mind.. case in point, here's some random page discussing about the title/movie.

Sypnosis:
Emotionally withdrawn Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) and dysfunctional free spirit Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) meet each other for the first time at a beach in Montauk, New York, and subsequently become romantically involved. However, two years into their relationship, they fall out of love with each other. Clementine discovers the services of Lacuna, Inc., a firm led by Dr. Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson) that claims to be able to erase all specific memories from a person's mind. Clementine opts to have Lacuna erase Joel from her mind. She hands over all of her possessions that have a link to their romance. When Joel seeks out Clementine the next day to try to make up, he finds out that she has completely no knowledge of who he is and is being wooed by Patrick (Elijah Wood), a technician from Lacuna who became smitten with Clementine. He is making use of her past memories and the items given to Clementine by Joel to win her affection. Joel investigates further and finds out about Lacuna. He opts to have his mind wiped of all memory of Clementine. He hands over to Lacuna all the items he believes have something to do with his relationship with her.

The Lacuna technicians, Patrick and Stan (Mark Ruffalo), arrive at Joel's apartment to perform the mind wipe as he sleeps. It is an all-night process. Mary (Kirsten Dunst), Stan's girlfriend who is also a Lacuna employee, shows up. Patrick leaves the apartment to spend time with Clementine. Stan and Mary are left to mind the machine. They end up having sex and getting stoned. Inside Joel's mind during a lucid dream, Joel realizes that his memories of Clementine are being erased in reverse order. As he experiences in his mind the earlier, happier times with her, he realizes that he wants to stop the procedure and keep the memories. He begins to fight the mind wipe by trying to hide Clementine in deeper memories of his mind. Joel's resistance causes the machine to foul up, and Stan and Mary are forced to call Dr. Mierzwiak to help to restart and complete the procedure. While Dr. Mierzwiak is able to restore the process to normal, his arrival brings about several awkward feelings between himself and the stoned Mary. Shortly later she learns that she had her mind wiped of her former affair with Dr. Mierzwiak. Joel realizes that he is not able stop the mind wipe process, but before his last memory of Clementine at the Montauk beach house is erased, she tells him she loves him and says "meet me in Montauk."

Joel wakes up the next day, decides to skip work, and takes the Long Island Rail Road train to Montauk where he meets Clementine. Unaware of who each other is, they quickly bond and begin to form a new relationship. The same day, Mary quits her job, steals the client files from Lacuna and mails them back to their clients. After returning to the city, Joel drives Clementine to her home to get her toothbrush so she can spend the night at his place. She meets Patrick, who is there to woo Clementine and wonders why Joel is still seeing her. When Clementine returns, she finds her Lacuna file in the mail and plays the tape from it for her and Joel. Joel thinks that she is toying with his feelings, forces her to leave his car and drives off alone. Patrick attempts to cheer Clementine up but she verbally lashes out at him and breaks off their budding relationship. Clementine travels to Joel's apartment. She finds Joel with his own Lacuna tape and holding a drawing from their former relationship that was missed out when he handed over his possessions to Lacuna. They both become aware of their former relationship. The two recognize that their relationship may have problems based on their past, but decide not to let those failings prevent them from seeing each other. The movie ends with them in a teasing snowball fight on the Montauk beach.

gotta love the movie.. it seems to coincide with the quotes I mentioned in my previous entries:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”- Jim Morrison

I think this movie will become my all time favourite now, because I can't remember my past favourites.. haha.. in view of the title and the meanings, should I be glad I'm forgetful? cos I realised I don't remember or keep much of my memories.. I don't know why. don't remember things I ought to.. it's like what's lived and learnt becomes tucked away in my head somewhere.. it'd be hard for me to take them out to reflect or recount them..

was my forgetfulness just how I am, or a way out when I was young, and bullied? was it how I dealt? by tucking those memories behind? and if it's not how I am, why did it pervades to even now? It might be a good thing, but it's mostly bad because all I can see is the present and not the past which makes a person who he/she is.

like even if I blog about past experiences, which may help in recounting memories but the thing is, I don't really go back to read them because when I do, it sounds stupid, my past entries, but not enough for me to want to delete my blog because it's my keepsake. afterall, blogging does help me express myself and how I feel at that time somehow. it somehow is therapeutic to vent your frustrations and"bookmark"/share with people nice videos and stuffs.



haha.. guess everyone knows love hurts and wished there was a Lacuna Inc. sigh. love this movie and the artistically "colored"/set scenes. it was sweet he was running away with Clementine hiding her so she won't be erased from his memories.. and I love the OST of this movie as well, it just fits.. loved especifically Breaking Benjamin's Forget It.. Beck's Everybody Gotta Love Sometime. the lyrics are wonderful as it brings.. nostalgia.. I'd totally intro these songs in a later entry.

come September, I'd be 21..
the thing about such movies, it makes you a little melacholic which might not be a good thing for me..
I know perfectly that I'm indecisive, forgetful, emotional and always in a confused state as to who and how I am.
somehow a lost soul, a slow developer to catch on things.. Is who I am really alright or is it kinda pathetic? how do I change? how do I not be so emotional and let my emotions guide me instead of what a smarter choice is- that is, my rational mind? how do I get out of wallowing in self-pitying, be headstrong and always inspired and motivated, not brought down by life? how can I apply what I tell people/how I motivate people to myself? how can I bring myself to be positive, to see the lessons of things and say "I came, I saw, I conquered"? wish I knew. and I'm going to tell myself this year is a year of change. step by step.. a renewed mindset, I've got to! no more negative emotions. 1 life, I really want to live it happy.. ;)

thanks Sasha for talking sense to me .. tho it might not be what I wanna hear..

The flower fever winds that came and passed

just finished watching Boys Over Flowers! =D all 25 episodes! Must say that it was great! How I wish I have a Jun Pyo or Ji Hoo in my life!

Hmm, right. Carry on dreaming Iris. oh well, here's some random links that kinda makes me laugh:

• Kim Hyun Joong looks like a dog? (he does look kinda like one.. Aww Gawd. he's so cute and pretty!)
• BoF F4 Cast's Childhood photos!
  

I must say I prefer this Korean version to the Taiwanese version! strangely, I could kinda relate to some scenes of the show, lol.. gotta love the koreans. I really don't know if I will see the Japanese version tho. cos same story leh.

anyhow, here's 2 videos (and lyrics) of 2 songs I really love from BoF's OST!

First is a song Jan Di sang during Jun Pyo's Birthday! Super nice! this version of the song I Don't Know Anything But Love is nicer than the original singer's la!
Second is Ji Sun's 어떡하죠 What Should I Do .. the lyrics just makes me wanna cry.. haha..

Melanchonic songs, they seem to strike a chord in me.. don't know why!
Perhaps I'm addicted to saddness.. lol. It's complicated.




I Don't Know Anything But Love

The moment you stood next to me
geudae naegyeote seon sungan
I liked the ways your eyes looked (at me)
geu nunbichi neomu joha
Though I cried yesterday
eojeneun ureotjiman
Today because of you
oneureun dangsinttaeme
My tomorrow will be happy
naeireun haengbokhalgeoya

Neither his face nor his style
eolguldo ani meotdo aniani
I just needed his tender love
budeureoun sarangmani pillyohaesseoyo
To forget all the time that has passed
jinagan sewolmodu ijeobeorige

I can now no longer do anything without you
dangsineobsi amugeotdo ijen
Cause I know nothing else but love
halsueobseo sarangbakke nan molla

~ lyrics continues ~
musimhi beoryeojin nal wihae
ureojudeon dan hansaram
keodaran eokkaewie
gidaego sipeunkkumeul
dangsineun kkaeji marayo

inareul eonjena gidaryeowasseoyo
seoreoun sewolmankeum anajuseyo
geuriun baramcheoreom sarajilkkabwa
saranghada heeojimyeon dasi
bogosipgo dangsini neomu joha






Ji Sun - What Do I Do 어떡하죠

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday
I say I'm okay but you really dont know how I feel
Do you think I'll be okay without you?
Are you okay without me?
The world without you is so hard that I blame myself for still breathing

What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me

Are we too late? Do we not have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this
Finally is it this? Are we going to end like this? Is it okay with you?
I don't think I can do it. The love I find with you, I wont find it anywhere even if I die

What should I do? If it isn't you no one else can hold my heart
Please hold me. And you know that even though the whole world tries to
No one can erase your memories. So please hold me

What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me

Is it too late? Do we not have a chance?
But me, I still think about you, and you might not know.

More vids!

Funny




Cool




Weirdish

Gnarls Barkley - Who's Gonna Save My Soul from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

What makes us human?

Haha, today I'm blogging about LOVE!

Came across the video below while I was searching for songs to feed my music needs[yeah, I'm relaxing a lil after my 3rd paper- Marketing, which I think I probably will fail..=( 3 down, 4 more to go!] =)

Posted this video up in Facebook then Jeff commented on it and while replying his comment, I got motivated to search for love quotes because I remember coming across this quote "As long as you have love, you still have hope".. Then while searching to see who said that, I came across this other quote as well which I heard somewhere which is:

""Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." -St. Augustine

now I know who said that quote! LOL. and then I read on more quotes:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”- Jim Morrison

I think this is rings true for many people who hide their sufferings, tuck away their painful memories, their emotions.. They pretend that bad things that happened to them never happened at all because it's easier that way, easier to forget. I do that too.. But I also believe with adversity comes great strength and understanding. Everything good or bad is an experience arising from your choice and we all can learn from it, and it'd shape you to be a better person, IF you let them.. But more often then not, we are driven by my emotions and it may all be too much to deal with sometimes.. =/ So it's really important that we continue changing our mindset, be optimistic, to hold our sanity because sometimes, the world is really a freaking hard place to live in..

(Random but right now I'm going to throw in my own quote (inspired by sociology LOL I think it's GOLD!) just cos it seems so relevant to the above statement:

"Alienation. Anomie.. What makes us human can make us inhumane too ..")

HAHA.. What I said above this quote of mine is what I've come to realise, but I'm still trying to apply/make this revelation something permanent in my life. I know I'm an emotional person. But someday, I want to be more than that..

That's why my To-Do's during the holidays is to read personal development books that trains you to better take control of your mind.. To stretch it. We humans sadly, don't utilise the full capacity of our minds (most of the times I have a lazy brain) I want to take myself to a whole new level and be a strong minded person not ruled by my emotions but by my mind. It'd do me good, because I know the value of a changing mindset, and of the mind..

I'd also like to read that book Ziquan lent me as well as books by behavioural scientists? I saw Lie To Me today on MioTV preview (it lets you watch 1 full episode as preview) and it was freaking cool how behavioural scientists read people by their gestures and facial expressions. When people lie, they exhibit rather stable patterns of gestures/facial expressions.. How cool is that? It' d be a freakin interesting read I think, a book studying on gestures and facial expressions.. Ahh, I'm sure it's available in the market but I'm too lazy to search for it now, so I'm saving it for later. HAHA. I hope I can get a hold of these reads. Maybe I'd read them when I'm in the US but then I hope my housemates won't think I'm crazy over these selections of books! LOL. HECK.

Ahh, anyway, while being a self-professed homebody during this studying season, I realised some things about myself and how I am in studying (OMG, after studying sociology, you just realise taken for granted stuffs!)

• My consciousness of time reduces my efficiency of studying.
  (esp after a full day of studying) "Oh XX AM already! So late, time to sleep!" seems familiar to you?
  The habits just sets in, it's almost like a conditioning. An excuse.. Of course we have to sleep lah but sometimes during the studying period can sleep abit later to study what.. but after realising this, I seem to be in better control and able to focus more once I get past this conditioning.. Mealtime conditioning still applies though. (LOL)
• My studying style is writing, visuals and reading.
  Drawing tables, mindmaps and writing makes things easier for me it seems.
  Dr. Or (my sociology teacher) calls this "active learning".. It seems to help commit things into memory more I guess. Discussions/interactions about concepts with friends/tutors helps too because it creates a memory. Guess that's why some study groups and peer discussions are advocated.
  
• What motivates me is:
  - My knowing whatever I'm doing now is for myself, for my future.. Now's The Only Time I Know
  (my MSN nick lol)
  - Friends' JIAYOUs (kinda pioneered by Louis LOL) and concerned smses/msges or mutual
  rantings/complaints about studying (knowing other people are going through the same thing helps~
• What's not helping is:
  - Distractions whether shows, magazines or people
  - Parents' nagging

I can't wait for exams to be over.. To a certain extent, now I feel so alienated. a stranger looking in on the world.. I want to go away to US to work right now.. To live life in a new country (although technically I'd be a stranger there too -.-) it's a form of escapism from Singapore. I'm really kinda sick of things here.. and I'm SO thrilled to go there because I know I'd learn alot.. Never been away from my family to work elsewhere before. so I know this is a damn valuable experience. I really hope God can see me through to be able to go there (hope the Swine Flu won't ruin things!!), to learn, experience the max I can and grow from it.. I hope I'd not be overtly homesick, hope that I can go there in one piece and back!! =)

Right now, I just gotta carry on studying.
Wasted one day slacking already T.T (but kinda need this because I've been really studying my ass off for the past few days. never did study or be focused this much).. sigh. UOL exams are so hard.. 8 more days of misery till its over!

AZA AZA FIGHTING IRIS!~♫

HOOH. How I miss blogging and its strangely feel good characteristics but...

Signing off for now.. =(


1234.. Dedicated to my friends, family and myself, all of whom I love ~♥ !!
(Really, thanks for touching my life, for your encouragements, care, love..
for accepting and making me realise the person I am, for sharing my joys, burdens and pain ~) ;D

More Vids!!

"Man Is No Island"
"A story around every corner.."

Video Madness

Many thanks to fellow Pebble-ian Roy for the great video recommendations! =)

The Cute/Funny/Lame:







The Cool/Sweet/Touching:







Music Video for Borne's The Guide song (This song is used in Operation Smile video)



The Romantic Valentine Make-up Vid and the make-up guru, Michelle Phan's site (she's gorgeous!! and I love her taste in music) and her chio friend's site:



Super Soothing Songs (from Michelle Phan's videos):
(gosh, I kinda got most of the Bossa n Roses songs. SO FRIGGIN SOOTHING~!! lovely ;D ...
Music's my dope!!)



Ituna - Don't Cry


Ituna - You Can't Always Get What You Want